Growing Up

I've been coming to terms with a new attitude in my daily life.  Being unemployed and home alone often, it is easy to become sad.  So often, I think myself and others would choice to just say, "I'm having a crappy day, tomorrow is a new day".  I'd wait for the next day to come and it would be my restart button.  I would have another opportunity towards a happy and successfull day.  However, as I've become older, the years seem to shrink.  A popular saying is that, "the day are long, but the years are short".  It's become unsustainable for me to live a life waiting for the next day, because there just isn't enough time in this life of mine to be waiting around.

So when I feel like hell....when I feel like nothing could possibly break me of my bad mood,  I do the one thing that is weighing on my mind the heaviest.  It is the one thing that I am at the same time telling myself, "you're in a bad mood today, you can do this tomorrow".  I've come to realize that if I just push myself to do something I ultimately know is a positive thing in the end, I end up breaking myself of my bad mood.  The more I push through, the happier I have become as a person.  This may all sound simple, but it has taken me years and years to actually begin to act it all out.  As I become older and wiser, I'm learning to do the things that before I was only able to think were right to do.  The more I push myself, the more I'm rewarded with happiness, and the happier I am, the more I push.  I know that I can be the person I want to be, I just been to push myself.

I think this may be why Chris is generally so happy.  He has this ability to just do.  He never puts many things off.  I think this ultimately makes everyone happier when they dont have all that baggage to carry around.  I want to feel lighter in life and the only way to do that is push myself through all my tasks.  I am stronger than my tasks.  Nothing is more fearfull than failing to do.